But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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