U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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