Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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