Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
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