i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
