also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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