this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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