Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
