shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Sorry my hands just texted you
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Randomize
