garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Soap is not a condiment
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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