"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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