i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
