I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
