He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
