The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
