I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
