She announced her abortion via fbk
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
