she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
