i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
