NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
