Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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