Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
