hotel room ftw
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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