i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
