is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
