D3 body, D1 cock
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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