the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
