once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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