Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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