Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
