Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
