Cold hands, warm shart.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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