Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I want a musical about memes.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
