Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Randomize
