He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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