I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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