he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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