This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
