I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize