what day is it and did you see me today?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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