I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
