Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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