So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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