Pappa wants mamma naked
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
