what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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