great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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