Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
