Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
