I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
