we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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