My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
did you just send me my own nude
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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