Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
