What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
