You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I smell stomach acid.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
