TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
