butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
