Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I just want nice things and good sex
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Randomize
