Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
