Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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