I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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