His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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