She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
