what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
