then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
