Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
ttyl tear gas
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
