Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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