i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Randomize
