I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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